With more than 1.2 million childcare jobs in existence, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, employment is expected to continue to grow as more working families are seeking help to care for their children. As a parent, it is vital that you trust the person that will be in charge of your child’s well-being. However, in some instances, you may find that your nanny or childcare professional has lied to you. Is this a serious situation that warrants a termination? Is there an underlying reason that this person may have withheld important information from you? What can you do about it? Here are some tips to handle a nanny who has not been honest:
Why It Matters
First and foremost, you are entrusting this person to care for your children. When a nanny lies, even about something that may seem inconsequential, trust is broken. Once damaged, it can be difficult or impossible to repair.
While a fib may seem like a quick fix to a difficult situation, if a nanny presents falsehoods as a truth, you may find that no one is benefiting. You may wonder what else your nanny has lied about if she felt it appropriate to fib about something so unimportant in the first place.
Lying prevents problems from becoming addressed and solved efficiently and properly. If a nanny lies about the behavior of your children, she may be doing so out of a misguided attempt to protect her job security. Conversely, as a parent, you are unaware of the issues at hand that should be resolved to help your children grow into well-behaved and respectful adults.
Possible Lies
Everybody knows that it’s tough to tell the truth 100% of the time. Even nannies tell little white lies now and then. However, you must be able to distinguish a little white lie from a real and tangible problem. Some smaller lies that many parents have heard from their nannies over the years include:
- “They went to bed right away.”
- “Everything was fine.”
- “I limited television time.”
Chances are, if your children give you difficulty when you attempt to put them to bed each night, they will act the same way with your nanny eventually. She just understands it is part of her job and most likely does not dwell on it or believe that you should be concerned.
If a nanny says that everything went fine during the day, it is most likely because she knows that you do not want to hear anything else or everything really did go fine in her opinion. Unless there was a major disaster or catastrophe that required your immediate attention, she may not hint at any difficult situations.
However, some nannies feel that lying is the only way to keep their job, which is when their statements can become dangerous. For example:
- “I didn’t have a party.”
- “My boyfriend/girlfriend wasn’t here.”
- “I don’t do drugs.”
All of these lies have one common tie — they take your nanny’s attention away from the health and well-being of your children. Whether she is throwing a party, snuggling with a significant other on the couch or using illegal drugs in your home, the focus is off your children, which can be detrimental in an emergency. What would happen if a fire were to start and your nanny was completely under the influence? He or she may not be able to act quickly or think logically in order to protect your children.
Additionally, if a boyfriend or girlfriend is in your home, there is a chance that your nanny may be more interested in some “quality time” with this individual than she is in meeting the needs of your children. Similarly, throwing a party while responsible for your children is just simply immature, disrespectful and irresponsible.
Disciplinary Actions
A nanny may lie about smaller, insignificant situations such as claiming that bedtime went smoothly. However, a nanny may also withhold information about the party she threw after your children were in bed. Each situation has its own punishment, and you, as the parent, are responsible for determining an appropriate course of action.
When you discipline your nanny, make sure you have the entire story or as much information as possible before taking action. You may choose to issue a written warning or terminate her completely. In some serious cases, you may also want to file a police report if a crime was committed.
Regardless of the reason your nanny lies, there is always an appropriate course of action in every situation. It is best to make decisions with a cool head, as feeling angry, emotional or upset may interfere with sound judgment. If your child wasn’t put in danger, take a step back and allow yourself to fully evaluate the situation before jumping to conclusions or making any decisions. If your child was endangered, swift action is probably best.
Remember, disciplinary actions for lies are often easiest to handle on a case-by-case basis. If your nanny fibs a little about TV time, that’s a perfect opportunity to have a frank but friendly talk about priorities and how important it is for your nanny to communicate with you. Termination may be overkill. But if a nannies lies about something that could potentially harm the children — or worse, if they take financial advantage or steal and then lie to cover their tracks — it’d make more sense to end the relationship swiftly. Ultimately, you have to do what’s best for the people who are most important here: your children.
